And She Never Heard From Him Again

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And She Never Heard From Him Again

After several seemingly great dates with a new guy, y'all finally feel like y'all've met someone y'all really enjoy spending time with. But, equally presently as you lot settle on the idea of having this guy effectually for a while, the unthinkable happens. He pulls a sliding door routine: an opened window of opportunity that one uses to creep into and out of someone's life without consequence. You don't hear from him. Yous text, phone call and email him, and at that place is no response.

Your first thought is that peradventure something bad happened. Mayhap he was in a actually bad car accident and is paralyzed. Or maybe he was a witness to a loftier profile crime and had to be whisked away into a witness protection program. But as the weeks become by and reality sets in, you begin to call up peradventure "he just wasn't that into you," that is until he suddenly reappears several weeks later on.

Most experts will tell you that this disappearing and magically re-actualization human action is quite common, that y'all've washed nothing incorrect, and that this sliding door routine has very little to exercise with you. However, I'm here to tell you that the reality is this whimsical Houdini act has null to do with illusions or disappearing acts, and everything to do with you.

Every adult female, regardless of beauty, race, creed or age has encountered a man who'southward pulled the sliding door routine. And even though virtually women volition deed surprised, convincing themselves and others that they didn't see the warning signs and that they were totally misled, the truth is nosotros can all see this Houdini coming a mile away.

For near of us, it begins with an eerie feeling that comes over u.s. later a nighttime out with a guy nosotros've just started dating (or perhaps have been dating for some fourth dimension). Sometimes it even happens after the starting time kiss. That strange feeling in the pit of our stomach -- something just feels off. Even though things seem to be going neat, we get a nagging feeling in the back of our mind that we are never going to hear from this guy over again.

The obvious solution would be to move on and detect someone who is into us. But rather than moving on and being open up to the possibility of meeting someone new, most of the states decide to go against what nosotros instinctively know is best, opening ourselves up to a sliding door routine. It goes something like this:

Twenty-four hour period Ane: You lot replay, once more and again, the last conversation where he promised to phone call you afterward, or when he gets dwelling house. You stride back and along in your apartment, waiting in vain for the telephone call that never comes.

Day Two: You decide to reach out to him. Yous begin by sending him a casual text, followed by a straight message on Facebook just to be sure. Still no response.

24-hour interval 3: You lot know that if you contact him once again you volition appear desperate, so y'all wait some other mean solar day before attempting to contact him again.

Day Four: Yous spend hours on the phone with your girlfriends listening to their points of view.

Mean solar day 5: You decide to follow your girlfriends' advice. After all, they could exist right. Maybe he is just shy. Or perchance he's just testing you lot to run across how interested you are in him. So email him, letting him know how much you miss him and how much y'all really intendance about him.

Day Six: Still following the advice of your well-meaning friends, you determine to call him over again because maybe he's just been really decorated. Or maybe he'south so into you that he's scared or he's trying to feel you out.

Mean solar day Seven: You lot convince yourself that you lot're crazy and that by now he thinks you're crazy, too, because y'all haven't been dating that long and, after all, you were never actually sectional.

Fast-forwards to week six: You're feeling better at present. So much better in fact, y'all're laughing, smiling, and feeling good about yourself. He'due south still there in the back of your listen, only you don't let it get you down so much now because you've forced yourself to move on. Sunday yous assemble for brunch with those same well-meaning girlfriends. You all accept a skillful laugh well-nigh how silly you behaved over a guy who decided, for no proficient reason, that y'all didn't deserve the courtesy of a phone call, an email or a text. "Any," y'all shrug, "he wasn't worth my time." Yous sit back, finally relaxed, sipping your mimosa. Of course that's when it happens.

For vi long weeks you lot've wished and prayed for a sign or just a word from this guy. And on a sunny Sunday afternoon, your cell phone rings, and as y'all reach down to retrieve your prison cell from your designer handbag, yous see it. A text message from him that simply reads: "Hello." You lot sit there quietly, pondering what yous should practice. Everything in yous is telling you non to respond, to continue it moving. Of form you don't listen to that wise vocalism in your caput. Y'all tell yourself you're only going to respond because you're curious to hear where he's been for the past six weeks.

Y'all text a absurd "hullo" back.

"I miss yous," he texts, and later several more back and forth messages y'all agree to gather. That night! And what's worse, he doesn't invite you out to a movie or to dinner. He invites you to his house. And we know that only 1 matter is going down once we go that route.

I read somewhere that near people who are victims of a crime are so because there was a criminal offence of opportunity. When I heard that, I took a self-defense form, looked into purchasing a dog and got extra security for my house, peculiarly to my sliding back door. I wanted to feel safe, to feel protected, and to be certain that I wasn't allowing whatever chance for a law-breaking of opportunity in my dwelling house. As women, we are taught to take extra precautions when information technology comes to our rubber; to avoid unlit parking structures, and to pay attending to our surroundings. Well, the aforementioned rules should be applied when information technology comes to matters of the heart. I'1000 not proverb we should take national security measures to every dating prospect nosotros encounter. But what I am maxim is that when it comes to dating, we should exist smart and limit the access to only suitors who respect our boundaries.

There comes a defining moment in every woman's life when she is standing between two parallel universes, and the outcome of her life depends on the path she does or doesn't take. Will she choose the sliding door, or the door where she tin can clearly see the path that'southward on the other side. Hopefully, she'll cull wisely.

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